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EATING MICHAEL





To cook, remove outer sunglasses and hat, and roast in main oven at 1000 degrees for about a week



It is a fact universally acknowledged that if the coronavirus worsens to the point at which cannibalism becomes unavoidable, Michael Moore’s torso alone would feed the people of Monaco for a week. But, speaking of consumption, and as featured with La George in yesterday’s episode, it is the Left that is eating itself, and now the Incredible Bulk has become the main course.


In their frenetic race to the bottom, the cultural Left – or Stalin 2.0 as they are otherwise known – are going all Kronos on their offspring, and wolfing them down like canapés at an Oscars bash. What exactly Moore’s crime is mystifies the most assiduous intellect, until one realises that he is telling the truth for once. The Left view truth in much the same way Moore himself would view a peeled radish; unpalatable.


The big man has made another of his films, you see, and his Planet of the Humans deals with the knotty problem of renewable energy. So far, so nauseatingly pious, one would think. But wait! Josh Fox the ‘Leftist activist’ (why does that phrase remind us of the Kinks song about Jack Jack the idiot dunce?) and climate charlatan Michael Mann, he of the faux hockey stick and long-running libel case against Mark Steyn, have conspired to have the film’s distribution put to sleep.


Because the Left don’t really understand either the interweb or the reactive and adaptive nature of social media, all they have done is forced the film to migrate to YouTube, where it is racking up hits like The Beatles in the sixties. And, of course, wherever there is Leftist self-flagellation, there also will ye find George Monbiot, who is to journalism what Eddie the Eagle was to ski-jumping. ‘How did Michael Moore become a hero to climate deniers [sic] and the far-Right’, Monbiot wails (in, perforce, The Guardian) like a spinster’s ghost on a barren hillside.


What exactly is Colonel Blimp’s crime against humanity? Don’t forget that every day is Nuremburg day for the new Inquisition, so we must at least address the crimes of the porcine film-maker. Moore’s tedious new venture blathers on about renewable energy as pretty much what it is, an expensive, inefficient way of destroying wildlife, taxing the already overtaxed, and virtue-signalling all rolled up in one neat waste of time and money.


One of Moore’s concerns is over-population, not of his waistline by calorific accretion, but by pesky people. Monbiot, as predictably as the turning of the tides, accuses Moore of - yawn – racism, a word so ubiquitous its usage will, apparently, soon overtake the definite article in modern journalism. Moore’s misanthropic chatterings mean, for Georgie Moonbat, that he hates ‘black and brown people’. Nonsense, we are sure Moore lives near some, the type of black and brown people seen leaving the house for work at 8am wearing a tie.


So, Michael’s on the menu. If you ever get to one of those ‘all you can eat’ buffets again, think of him fondly. When serving, remember to place an apple in his mouth. Actually, why wait until he is dead?



Photo credit: Montclair Cliff

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