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OBAMA BAGMAN BASHES BERNIE


Have you ever walked past the front window of a department store early in the morning and seen the shop dummies standing in a row with no clothes on, waiting to be dressed for the day’s business? Well, then you have seen a more inspiring line-up than the 2020 Democratic presidential nominees.

Creepy Joe Biden, hair-sniffer extraordinaire, token angry person of colour Cory Booker, tomahawk-wielding Fauxcahontas Elizabeth Warren, well, you must complete the roster yourself as the office menial we have tasked with compiling the list has just been spotted on a ledge at BI Towers some 20 floors up. The only candidate who was in any way easy on both the eye and the brain, and who had one or two ideas which didn’t just involve free stuff for people who don’t work, was Tulsi Gabbard, and she has dropped out of the ‘race’. We note, in passing, that she was also the only candidate to press for action on big tech censorship. She was also the only one to be alluded to as a Russian agent by the loser of the last election, Hillary Clinton. There is almost certainly no connection to be drawn from these two facts.

And then there is Bernie Sanders. Sanders’ speaking style is reminiscent of a furious old man stomping about in the TV room of an old people’s home, angry because his custard was served with skin on it. His Socialist agenda also makes Fidel Castro look like Jacob Rees-Mogg. Add to this the fact that he has been endorsed by Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, a woman clearly as mad as a box of frogs, and you can see that there might be some trepidation about his appointment.

But the fact that doubts are being cast by none other than Barack Obama’s campaign director, Jim Messina, must be cause for concern. Now, given that Messina was hired in 2017 by Britain’s Conservative Party to represent Theresa May, who when last seen actually was working as one of the store-window dummies we met at the opening of this piece, his opinion may seem as valid as that of a cider-swilling mutterer in your local park, but Messina’s connection to the sainted Obama makes him a political big gun in an election run-up which must be cause for President Trump to release another of his Cheshire-cat grins.

In the meantime, an entire nation is watching the race for the Democratic nomination with bated breath, fully aware that their future prosperity may well rely on the outcome. That nation would be Mexico.

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