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Well, on the first day of the first year of a new decade (although astute arithmeticians will patiently explain why this is not yet the end of one decade and the beginning of a new one. Eat ten cookies and tell me with a straight face that eating the ninth one heralds the start of eating the next ten), and clownworld seemed to haverespected the wishes of those of us who have clung to our sanity, and not come up with anything too crazy. But, as YouTuber Mike Dice would say, Oh wait! What’s this?

London’s Metro newspaper would be fish-wrapping if Health and Safety still allowed that sort of thing, but it does carry an interesting piece about the sad demise of an Englishman from the pretty town of Corby in Northamptonshire who will be leaving Thailand, where he was holidaying with his fiancée, in a wooden box. From the newspaper itself;

‘Gary McLaren, 50, was ringing in the New Year with friends in the nightlife resort of Pataya, Eastern Thailand… [a witness said that] he was killed while attempting to light a firework cylinder in the street. She said he had just stepped out of the Miami A Go-Go strip club to join people celebrating the arrival of 2020 when he produced the 50cm tube of rocket fireworks. The witness added that Mr. McLaren tried to light the cylinder twice but was unsuccessful. On his third attempt, the cylinder exploded, knocking him backwards to the ground.’

He was pronounced dead at the hospital. Third time unlucky.

Does Charles Darwin not write somewhere about inferior genes being expunged from the gene pool? Mr. McLaren’s tale is a sad one, especially as his wife-to-be will now have to seek another tailor’s dummy to marry, but it does go to show that, with fireworks, always have a grown- up with you.

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