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  • TRAFFIC ANALYSIS

BUCKINGHAM MALICE


The British royal family continues on its quest to make The Simpsons look about as dysfunctional as The Waltons. The latest episode in this ongoing dope opera is the ‘retirement’ from public life of Prince Harry and his tiresome wife, Meghan Markle. Now, the media adored Markle from the start because of their neo-Rousseauist fascination with the dusky, a whiff of Orientalism to stir up the musty old Anglo-Graeco-Germanic dynasty of which they so disapprove.

The woke princess arrived on the scene with all the nauseating ideological knick-knacks you would expect to find in the man-bag of a second-year Queer Studies student at a former polytechnic. She wants to ‘decolonise the curriculum’. That’s the one where you take all the white writers off the syllabus so you are left with academics from the University of Chad writing about slavery and how it had nothing to do with Africans starting it. She wants to start an ‘eco-charity’, seemingly unaware that people are already being taxed until the pips (from an organically-grown orange) squeak to pay for this luxury item. She has turned Harry from a fun-loving, gallivanting helicopter pilot into the first royal who, in the event of an extraordinary disaster putting him on the throne, would have his coronation in a yurt and be crowned with a pink pussy hat.

This show-boating bimbo clearly hates the country into whose royal family she was graciously invited, despises its values, and feels nothing but malice towards tradition. There is none so much to be feared as a failed actress.

She quite obviously never wanted to work, which is what the royal family have always done, pace the snippy media, but she presumably isn’t grumpy about the multi-million-pound grace and favour cottage she enjoys at the expense of the British tax-payer. She wants to raise their son, Archie, in a ‘gender-neutral’ fashion, which could lead to the first royal with psychological problems which aren’t the result of in-breeding. She has taught her husband all about something called 'unconscious racial bias'. Her minders warned the public off taking photos of her at Wimbledon.

So, we here at BI Towers are happy to see the back of this toxic totty. We always fancied Kate more anyway.

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